Monday, August 11, 2008

Downing Shots at the Saloon!

Howdy Y'all!

Sorry I've been out of touch. A blazin' storm rolled through a few nights back and knocked out the tubes that connect us to the world wide web. I buddied up to some of the spiders in the yard and asked them to spin us some new ones, but they were on strike or sumthin'

Any-hoo. I got to go visit with a new doc yesterday and boy did she put me through the wringer. She ran a whole slew of tests and put her finger up my bum. Holy moly, I shore wasn't ready for that. I think I have a few more red spots just from the blushin'. She told Ms. Lynn that I don't have no Pary Sights which I guess is a good thing and means I don't need no spectacles. Ms. Lynn told her I'd been hacking something fierce and I felt obliged to give that lady Doc a demonstration right there and then. The Doc said that the wasn't Ken Nell Cough but a reverse sneeze. Now I don't know why Ken would want to give me his cough no how and my rear was to that Doc when I hacked so maybe I need to turn around the next time and I'll sneeze proper like.

That lady Doc then told Ms. Lynn that she thought I might be as old as maybe 2 years. Now that must be old enough to get my licker license because she told Ms. Lynn to bring me back today and she'd give me some shots! I was hoping it might be sarsaparilla shots as 'dem are my favorite.

When we got back to the saloon today (figured it must be a saloon if they got shots), it was mighty crowded in the foyer. Those people were really friendly like and kept saying how purty I was. I liked them back but I was worried because most of those people had those juvenile delinquent dogs with them. I figures they were the Rangers put in charge of getting them ruffians rehabilitated so I kept my distance! Soon, a pretty young filly came out and asked if I was ready to get back to the saloon! I started to head back and then realized Ms. Lynn wasn't with me. I went back and leaned against her leg and told her to hurry up before all the shots were gone.

I must have looked mighty sad 'cause Ms. Lynn leaned down and gave me a big hug and told me not to worry that she was leaving me at another shelter. She said I had a home now and I was just staying at the saloon tonight so they could get the worms out of my heart. I guess this saloon only lets dogs with worms in because I know Ms. Lynn was sad and after she said that, I saw two other ladies in the foyer with tears in their eyes too. I felt kind of bad getting to go and leaving them behind but Ms. Lynn nudged me along.

That lady doc then took me back and laid me on a table and she took pictures of my chest. I then heard her on the telephone talking to Ms. Lynn and she told her that those varmits hadn't done any damage to that big heart of mine. She also told Ms. Lynn that I was full of Buck Shot! She said that there Buck Shot didn't put me in no danger but I guess I must have been in a showdown that drunken' night in Charlotte when I got married. I wonder what happened to the other guy? I wonder if that's who I married!

So, now I'm hanging out at the saloon waiting on some proper sarsaparilla. That doc came in with a needle and shot something right into my back and boy am I sore and I don't feel so hot neither. Not sure why she did that as I ain't done nuthin to her but I'll tell Ms. Lynn about it and I bet she'll take care of that lady darn quick for hurting her new ranch hand that way.

I's purty tired now so I'll sign off and tell you all more when I get back to Pibble Creek tomorrow night.

I can say this - don't go to no saloons that make you have worms to get in. You won't be able to sit down for a week!

Kane Agape

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