Monday, August 25, 2008

Dear Diary

Whew! Yesterday was such an exhausting day! I haven't worked that hard in a really long time. It wasn't so much that it was hard work, 'cause you know I love my therapy work, but it was the most stressful therapy thing I've ever done. Even my mom was really stressed about the whole situation!

It all started on Saturday night when my mom gave me a bath. She said it was because I had to look
good for my test the next day. I really didn't know what she meant by that since I'd already had lots of tests at the vets a few days ago, so I figured it was just an excuse to get me into that evil bathtub. But I was a good boy and took my bath and then went to bed to rest up for my test on Sunday.

Sunday morning I got real excited when I found out that I was going for a ride in the car with Mom and Sydney and Foster had to stay home.
They weren't very happy about that, but it was ok 'cause grandma was there to play with them.

I could tell Mom was a little nervous about something, and that always makes me a little nervous too so I kept giving her kisses while she was driving…that always makes her laugh and relax. As soon as we got out of the car though it was my turn to get nervous! We were at a Kennel! I was so scared Mom was going to leave me here by myself, but she told me I didn't have to stay so that helped and she put my therapy bandana on so I knew I was there to work. I was really excited to do some therapy; we haven't done that for a while. There were some people in the parking lot that looked like they needed some therapy and the poor boxer they were jerking
around by the neck really needed some therapy, but Mom wouldn't let me go over there.

Boy it was loud here! I could barely even hear mom and it was really hard to concentrate on her since there were dogs barking from two different buildings and there were even dogs in the cars. I'd never done my job in such a chaotic place! Even the pet expos I've gone to weren't this loud and crazy! Mom was starting to get upset with me 'cause
I was having such a hard time listening to her, and I tried really hard, but I just couldn't shut out all the noise. We went into one of the buildings and it was even worse! There were a lot of dogs in the next room and they were all yelling at each other wanting to get out of their kennels and it echoed really badly. One lady came to talk to Mom and I was so excited to give her some therapy, I jumped up. Mom told me 'no' and I was really embarrassed. I know I'm not supposed to jump on therapy people, but I was just so excited.

All this was so stressful to me and my mom that I was really happy when we went outside to take a walk and calm down a bit. It
was still pretty exciting with all the new smells and stuff, but Mom wanted me to do some training stuff to help me focus on her better. I was really trying hard, but it was tough. We did take a nice walk and that helped.

But then we had to go into that building with all the yelling dogs again and wait for our 'test'. I over heard the lady telling Mom we could wait outside, but Mom said that if we had to take our test in there, we might as well get used to the noise.
Sitting there listening to all the dogs yelling made me really upset, I was panting and hiding my head in Mom's lap. She kept petting me and telling me it was ok, but I could tell she was getting more and more stressed too. We kept trying to do some obedience in the tiny hallway next to the yelling dogs and we tried really hard to pay attention to each other. Then there was a big fight in the next room. Two dogs were fighting about something and the people were yelling and slamming gates and stuff. Mom asked me if we should just leave, but we decided to stick it out.

After a few minutes things started to quiet down and the lady came back and said it was time for our test. We went into a big room with agility stuff in it and then into a little area with fences around it. We were both still really on edge even though most of the noise had stopped. Mom kept giving me mixed signals and I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been so things weren't very fun for a while. During our obedience tests, Mom had to give me a couple of commands more than once. It was really embarrassing, but I was still really upset and Mom didn't get mad at me but I knew she
was getting upset again too. While the lady was writing something on her clipboard, Mom talked gently to me which made me very happy, but then she had to pay attention to the lady again and I got scared so I leaned against her and hid my head between her knees until she could pay attention to me again.

Even though we hadn't calmed down yet, we were still a pretty good therapy team. One of the tests requires the lady to give me a big hug. I don't know why they think this is a test, 'cause everyone loves big hugs don't they? The lady seemed surprised that I wagged my tail while she was hugging me. I tried to kiss her too, but Mom told me not to. After a while we started to calm down a little more, but it took almost half the test before we really got into the groove again. But that's when the fun stuff starts. All the boring obedience part was over and we got to the part where all the people were petting me and I was giving lots of therapy.

At one point though, I was giving therapy to a loud, silly guy with a walker and all of a sudden two other people behind us started yelling at each other. Now normally this wouldn't have bothered me, but with all the previous yelling from all the dogs, it kind of put me on edge again. Mom was
there to let me know it was ok though and after they stopped yelling we got to go over to them and give them some therapy so they wouldn't yell and be mad anymore. The last part of the test was my favorite. The loud guy with the walker was petting me and then two more people started petting me at the same time and my mom was there petting me too. They were the same people that were yelling at each other before, but they weren't mad at each other anymore. This is why I got into therapy in the first place, there is nothing better than letting a whole lot of people pet you all at once and they were all so happy again.

We finally got to go home again and get away from all the noise and stress. Mom was happy and said that we had passed our re-certification test whatever that is, but it still took her a long time before she wasn't stressed anymore. Me too! I was so tired from all the noise and having to concentrate so hard to try to do all the things mom wanted me to do and still
do all my therapy stuff that I just crashed on the way home. When we got home, grandma had put all the dog beds out on the new deck in the sun so it was nice and warm when I got there.

Mom said she was really glad that Sydney had decided to retire because she wouldn't have been able to concentrate at that Kennel for her test. I can't imagine ever retiring from giving therapy, but I hope I don't ever have to do anymore therapy at a place like that again!


Monday, August 11, 2008

Kane and The Homely Gal!

Howdy Cow Pokes!

Sorry I haven't come a callin' much lately. I've been real focused on staying still and hoping those worms in my heart realize they've overstayed their welcome and it's time to hit the road. I've been trying really hard, just lying in my bunk all day, enduring going out with Ms. Lynn under that embarrassing parasol to use the outhouse and cuddling up to sleep with The Yankee (he snores).

Well, I guess those worms got mighty bored and decided they weren't leavin' without having a wild party first. I heard Ms. Lynn talking on the phone box to the Doc and she said I was showing signs of complications. Now, I just got started on my schoolin' a short while ago and I'm still working on my 'rithmetic. I've been doing pretty good with my addin' and subtractin' but I didn't think I was going to have to start on my complications yet. I sure don't want to do that 'cause long division is next and Mac down at the Tack Store says that long division is hard!

Anyway, I guess when word got out about the Hoe Down those worms were having, they all tried to get to the party at once and they all got stuck in the hallway going to my heart. That was no fun for me at all. I got really tired and I couldn't breathe very well. Ms. Lynn knew I was in a bad way when I wouldn't eat my vittles or even wag my tail when she came a'callin'. She and The Yankee loaded me into the stagecoach and got me to Doc's place pronto!

That Lady Doc rushed me back to the saloon as soon as we got there. She didn't give me no shots of sarsaparilla but gave me some penny candy to help with my breathin' and some more to fight Infect's son. I don't know what the son of Infect has against me, but I'm glad the Doc gave me sumthin' to keep him away 'cause he don't sound like a nice fella.

One of dem purty saloon girls then took me to a bunk and she stayed with me and gently stroked my head saying that I needed to keep still until those penny candies could carry a message to those worms that the party was over and it was time to skedaddle! She was mighty nice and she smelled good so I didn't might sittin' a spell with her.

Soon, I heard the barkeep hollering "last call" and I knew the saloon must be closing. That purty saloon girl then took me out to the foyer where Ms. Lynn and The Yankee was waiting. She gave Ms. Lynn a bunch of papers and told her that Dr. Baker was waiting for me over at the doggie ER. Now, I didn't know what ER stood for. I figured it must stand for Evil 'Rithmetic and they was gonna make me go there and do more complications and long division. But then I got to thinkin' that if there was a Doc over there that was also a Baker then maybe they'd have some warm scones waiting for me and I'd better go check that place out.

Boy, was I disappointed. We got to the doggie ER and I didn't smell nothin' cooking. No scones, no biscuits, not even a hot pot of chicory. Doc Baker came and got me and took me back to another bunk room and put a funny thing on my face. She said she was measuring my breathin'. Now I've heard about those there breath-a-liars that the Sheriff uses, and I tried to tell her that I hadn't been drinkin' no sarsaparilla and besides, I have a licker license, but she wasn't listening. I heard her go tell Ms. Lynn that I wasn't doing too bad but that I needed more Oxen Gin.

Now, I was just mighty confused. Why does the Sheriff use a breath-a-liar to tell if the cowhands have been drinkin' too much and here this Doc Baker, who don't bake nothin', want to go and give me some Oxen Gin? I thought maybe she'd been dippin' in that Oxen Gin a little too much herself!

She tells Ms. Lynn that I got to stay with them overnight so they can keep an eye on me and give me some Oxen Gin when I need it and that they might have to hook me up with Ivy. Geez, I don't know what kind of place this was. They want to get me drunk on Oxen Gin and then have me court some girl named Ivy who I ain't never laid eyes on. My daddy always told me it wasn't proper to court a gal when you've been drinkin' so I figures this Ivy girl must be mighty homely and that is the only way she can get a beau!

Well, at this point, I'd had enough. I thought maybe it was safest to play possum. I just closed my eyes and laid real still like. Doc Baker came and checked the funny thing on my face a lot and I heard a few more gals come in the bunkroom from time to time but I kept my eyes closed 'cause I was scared one of them might be Ivy. I wasn't sure my heart full of worms could take the shock of a gal that homely.

I must have made the right call, 'cause I woke up this morning and I hadn't had to meet Ivy nor drink any of that Oxen Gin. That Doc Baker still hadn't baked nothin' (I think that's because she drinks) but she called Ms. Lynn and told her that I could go home to Pibble Creek. I shore was happy when Ms. Lynn and The Yankee showed up to carry me home. They talked to the Doc and she told them what kind of complications to watch out for that might merit hauling me back to that crazy place. I told them I was dun with complications and long division for awhile and to get me outta there.

So, now I'm back home again and just hangin' in my bunk. Frankly, I think that my bunk is the safest place for me with all these crazy folks running around talking about drinking Oxen Gin and Worm Parties and Homely Girls and such. I'll keep y'all updated and hope that you'll come bust me out if things get any weirder. I'm gonna sign off now so I can send a text to my new cat pal from the ER named Fan Belt. He's only got one ear, but he sure can text fast!

Kane Agape

Downing Shots at the Saloon!

Howdy Y'all!

Sorry I've been out of touch. A blazin' storm rolled through a few nights back and knocked out the tubes that connect us to the world wide web. I buddied up to some of the spiders in the yard and asked them to spin us some new ones, but they were on strike or sumthin'

Any-hoo. I got to go visit with a new doc yesterday and boy did she put me through the wringer. She ran a whole slew of tests and put her finger up my bum. Holy moly, I shore wasn't ready for that. I think I have a few more red spots just from the blushin'. She told Ms. Lynn that I don't have no Pary Sights which I guess is a good thing and means I don't need no spectacles. Ms. Lynn told her I'd been hacking something fierce and I felt obliged to give that lady Doc a demonstration right there and then. The Doc said that the wasn't Ken Nell Cough but a reverse sneeze. Now I don't know why Ken would want to give me his cough no how and my rear was to that Doc when I hacked so maybe I need to turn around the next time and I'll sneeze proper like.

That lady Doc then told Ms. Lynn that she thought I might be as old as maybe 2 years. Now that must be old enough to get my licker license because she told Ms. Lynn to bring me back today and she'd give me some shots! I was hoping it might be sarsaparilla shots as 'dem are my favorite.

When we got back to the saloon today (figured it must be a saloon if they got shots), it was mighty crowded in the foyer. Those people were really friendly like and kept saying how purty I was. I liked them back but I was worried because most of those people had those juvenile delinquent dogs with them. I figures they were the Rangers put in charge of getting them ruffians rehabilitated so I kept my distance! Soon, a pretty young filly came out and asked if I was ready to get back to the saloon! I started to head back and then realized Ms. Lynn wasn't with me. I went back and leaned against her leg and told her to hurry up before all the shots were gone.

I must have looked mighty sad 'cause Ms. Lynn leaned down and gave me a big hug and told me not to worry that she was leaving me at another shelter. She said I had a home now and I was just staying at the saloon tonight so they could get the worms out of my heart. I guess this saloon only lets dogs with worms in because I know Ms. Lynn was sad and after she said that, I saw two other ladies in the foyer with tears in their eyes too. I felt kind of bad getting to go and leaving them behind but Ms. Lynn nudged me along.

That lady doc then took me back and laid me on a table and she took pictures of my chest. I then heard her on the telephone talking to Ms. Lynn and she told her that those varmits hadn't done any damage to that big heart of mine. She also told Ms. Lynn that I was full of Buck Shot! She said that there Buck Shot didn't put me in no danger but I guess I must have been in a showdown that drunken' night in Charlotte when I got married. I wonder what happened to the other guy? I wonder if that's who I married!

So, now I'm hanging out at the saloon waiting on some proper sarsaparilla. That doc came in with a needle and shot something right into my back and boy am I sore and I don't feel so hot neither. Not sure why she did that as I ain't done nuthin to her but I'll tell Ms. Lynn about it and I bet she'll take care of that lady darn quick for hurting her new ranch hand that way.

I's purty tired now so I'll sign off and tell you all more when I get back to Pibble Creek tomorrow night.

I can say this - don't go to no saloons that make you have worms to get in. You won't be able to sit down for a week!

Kane Agape